Archive for January, 2011

Immigrant Tiger Mothers

Wednesday, January 26th, 2011

Many of us read the excerpt of Amy Chua’s The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother in The Wall Street Journal.   More than 5,000 Journal readers commented on the WSJ’s website, more than any other article in the Journal’s history.  The Chinese tough love approach to childrearing infuriated many.

I was not altogether astonished by this strict approach to parenting.  Not surprisingly, immigrant parents want their children to take advantage of opportunities denied them. Chua’s essay brought to mind Amy Tan’s novel, The Joy Luck Club.  The opening passage tells of a Chinese woman who bought a duck that “stretched its neck in hopes of becoming a goose, and now look [it is a swan]  too beautiful to eat.”   The duck/swan image “a creature that became more than what was hoped for” symbolizes the mother’s dreams for her daughter.

Having taught English to hundreds of immigrants over the years, I heard so many stories of parents forced to leave everything behind in Romania, Iran, Cambodia and Viet Nam.  Whereas many Americans have given up on the American dream, immigrants fervently believe in it.  Their profound optimism and belief that their children will become “more than what was hoped for” reinvigorates America. Their children’s success is their success.

Does curiosity influence longevity?

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

I have a dear friend, Irma, who celebrated her 101 birthday this summer.  Irma lives in her own home in a retirement community, does not use a walker or a hearing aid and drives over to her friends’ homes and library on her golf cart.  Her mind is so sharp that UC Irvine gerontology has been studying her.  One of seven children born to a family in the Midwest, only she and a younger sister survive.  A frail child, Irma grew up on a farm in Kansas.  Farm chores, she says, made her strong.

After college a friend suggested she come on out to California.  Interested in business, Irma enrolled in UCLA and received an MBA. She taught business courses till her ’60’s and then became a stockbroker.  While teaching business, she took sabiticals and traveled round the world.  When she retired, she moved to Laguna Woods Village in Orange County.  One of the first residents, she raised funds for the hospital and the library and was the director of the library some 20 years.  An ardent hiker, gardener and birder, she also founded the local chapter of the Audubon chapter.

When asked what she attributes her remarkable health to, she replies:  “a sensible diet and a positive attitude.”  I would add one other factor:  her curiosity about people, places and current events.  It’s her curiosity that engages her in life and makes her so vibrant.

My recommendation to parents is to stimulate your child’s innate curiosity.  Yes, there are wonderful nature shows on tv but take your child to the natural history museums and other places of interest in your city.  Teach them to love nature. Explore the outdoors and vacation at one of our great national parks.  Yosemite is a favorite of mine. Life is an adventure.  Instill this in your child from a early age.  Develop interests and share these with your child.  Teach them to live life with passion as my friend Irma has.

“Who’s Oprah?”

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

 spent Christmas with my daughter and son-in-law and their little ones in their 1890’s Victorian home in Texas.  My daughter homeschools her children.  The eldest, now eleven, has “graduated” from homeschool and is in sixth grade at a private school and is thriving socially and academically. 

One evening my two oldest granddaughters asked my sister and me to play a game in which you draw cards with fantasy dreams such as “an indoor swimming pool” or “a visit to the Eiffel Tower.” For four players, four cards are drawn and each player discards one card, the fantasy dream least suited to the other players.  The challenge is to give the remaining cards to the player that will value it the most — points range from 3 to 1.  The player with the most points wins.  It’s a fun game, full of surprises.  “You’d rather have a cottage on the beach than a trip to Italy?”  a player might ask.  “Yes, that way I’d have a year-round vacation,” someone might answer.  The game promotes lively discussion.

I drew a card whose fantasy dream was an appearance on Oprah’s show and gave it to my sister.  Ecstatic, she immediately awarded this card three points.  My nine-year old granddaughter turned to her and asked, “Who’s Oprah?” 

“Who’s Oprah?” my sister and I repeated to one another, mouths agape.  Later we reflected that the family uses their tv (out of sight in an upstairs den) essentially to view movies.  They do not watch television at ALL.   Oprah, herself, who paradoxically does not espouse watching television would be proud. (It was Gail who insisted the guest rooms at her palatial Santa Barbara home have televisions because unlike Oprah, guests watch tv.) 

I got to thinking how television has taken over our family life.  If it’s always on during family time, it’s like another member of the family.  At my daughter’s, evenings are truly family time where parents or older siblings read to the younger children and all play games.

Evenings seemed magical in their living room, the Christmas tree sparkling in the bay window.  I imagined Christmas back in the 1800’s — the family together enjoying each other’s company, providing their own entertainment.  Children grow up so fast.  Don’t deprive yourself or them the time to enjoy them.

Happy New Year! Thank you for a GREAT 2010!

Saturday, January 1st, 2011

Let me take a moment to thank you a GREAT 2010!  Last month, my publisher informed me that my workbook was in the TOP three sellers for the month of November at Infinity Publishing. 

Sales of my workbook are nearing 10,000 copies.  Teach Your Child the Multiplication Tables has been #1 on Amazon under “multiplication tables” these past three years.  I owe it ALL to my faithful customers who through word of mouth have made my workbook a success. 

Had my son not resisted learning the tables through rote memorization, I would not have developed my method.  So as always, Scott, thank you for leading me on this extraordinary journey.

My little workbook connects me to the world.  Through PayPal orders on this website, I learn how someone in Singapore, London or a remote town in Maine heard of my workbook.  I’ve received countless emails from families telling me the difference my workbook made in their child’s life.  Thank you so much for sharing your stories, those from parents and teachers of special needs children are especially poignant.

Moms and dads, every day you confront routine problems in your children’s  lives and solve them.  I encourage you to share your innovations with other families by bringing these to market.  I believe if more of us would do for other people’s children what we do for our own, the world would be a better place.

                                      Wishing you Happy Times this New Year!

                                                                  Eugenia